SHIT THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER
A simple list for complicated times
Warning: What follows contains gross generalizations and fact-checking is spotty at best.
Warning: What follows contains gross generalizations and fact-checking is spotty at best.
Aren’t Words the Best?
I’m not opposed to making up my own vocab words, but it’s great to know that someone somewhere has probably already thought one up. Thank you, Nice News, for this list of 16 Heartwarming Words and Phrases That Don’t Have an English Equivalent.
Bedtime Story
This is Shelby Van Pelt’s first novel, so I’m standing by for more. This light-enough-for-bedtime story is also heavy enough to keep you thinking about the plot during morning coffee and rooting for the characters throughout the day. Not a good read, a great read. Buy it here.
Peace is in the Pieces
Puzzle-making in our house is about low-commitment fun that engages the mind and keeps us out of each other’s business, minus Kato, who likes to be all up in it. We haven’t done anything less that 1,000 pieces in years and we usually opt for themes focused around Nor Cal or flowers. My personal puzzle philosophy? “If we don’t finish this puzzle, the terrorists win.” Our favorite brand.
The Big Chill
I’ve been submerging my body in cold water for more than a year now, and I love it. No, I’m not trying to tweak my immune system or decrease inflammation, but that’s nice too. I’m in it to tone the vagus nerve. Pro tip: Resist the temptation to panic breathe, that defeats the point. As you submerge, lengthen each inhale and exhale and repeat a soothing thought or mantra. Learn more.
Ful of It
Designer Ingrid Fetell Lee has it all figured out. She has devoted her career to studying joy—where do I sign up? Check out her work on aestheticsofjoy.com, in her TED Talk “Where Joy Hides and How to Find It,” and in her book, Joyful. Her observations about joyful colors, shapes, and googley eyes makes me feel seen. Now I’d better get back to work. Ingrid’s Insta.
She’s a Brainiac
This one’s a two-fer. Two brilliant substacks I’ve come to rely upon for very different reasons: The Science of Creativity by brain expert Annie Murphy Paul; and Study, Marry, Kill by presidential historian Alexis Coe. These allow me to support the endeavors of women writers beyond a buy-the-book model and I’m smarter for it.
Robbins Hood
Without fail every week, podcaster and change expert Mel Robbins hits me with a topic (and simple toolkit based on science-backed research) that scratches what’s itching: how to trust your gut, read body language, heal past trauma, all kinds of shit! Most important, Mel cusses like a sailor. The podcast.
Big Nests from Big Sur
Jayson Fann makes giant nests. I’m pretty sure this is what Confucius had in mind when he said “Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Please note, my birthday is in April.
License to Be Pissed
This recent article by Susan Dominus in The New York Times brings some validation to a subject that shouldn’t need any, but I’ll take it. Same topic, also helplful, a new book by Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz, Menopause Bookcamp.
Turn, Turn, Turn
Because the world is bananas, I like a nice light palate cleanser before bed. The British competition show The Great Pottery Thrown Down is my current favorite, in part because Judge Keith Brymer Jones bursts into tears when he’s moved by a piece of pottery. Yes, please.
Detritus Animus
Climate Photographer Lyn Swett Miller* brings order and rhythm to consumption and chaos. Her collection “Compost: Muse and Metaphor” reminds me to take comfort in change, look for beauty in unlikely locations, and relish tiny steps toward progress. And the colors! *Full disclosure, she’s also my composting mentor. Lyn’s Insta.
Smokin’ Good Read
Shit that makes me feel better? When a BFF bravely publishes her first novel in which you can recognize heartbreaking details and learn more to boot. Mark my words, The Tobacco Wives by Adele Myers is destined to be made into a movie. When it is, popcorn is on me, bitches!
Hold Me Closer, Tiny Paintings
When I get emails from StudioGallery in San Francisco, I literally can’t click until I know I have at least 30 minutes to scroll through the images. Their selection of very small works of art brings a massive burst of fresh air and inspiration. In their current show “tiny + HUGE,” I’m repeatedly drawn to this painting, “Patricia” by Jonathan Crow. I can tell Patricia knows what’s up.
Fridge Magnet
Politics Girl makes highly articulate, educational, very short videos about policy and politics all whilst standing in front of her refrigerator. This one—Abortion Rights Are Part of the Economy—is my current favorite. She also has a podcast. I would send her a free shirt in a heartbeat. PG, reach out!
Can You Feel the Rage Tonight?
I attended a reading of Rage Becomes Her during the congressional hearings for Brett Kavanaugh. Now I’m revisiting the audio version with renewed, um, rage.
“We cannot ‘self-help’ our way to being heard, taken seriously, paid fairly, cared for adequately, or treated with dignity. We cannot ‘self-help’ our way to peace or justice.” —Soraya Chemaly, author
Revenge Fantasy
I love a Liam Neeson revenge plot as much as the next gal, but none of them come close to the human drama that unfolds in Jeannie C. Riley’s song “Harper Valley PTA.” Yes, you know it, but give it another listen—you need the dopamine.
Human Family
This animated film for the FDR Library has been recognized by the New York Animation Awards, the Rhode Island Film Festival, and will make its NYC theatrical premiere on Oct 8 in the Soho Intl Film Festival. I’m giving it the “Shit that makes me feel better after Italy gives fascism another try” Award. Watch on YouTube.
Civility Reigns
We now have bees on the property and I like to think of them as part of the family. I’m in good company. This is a headline from DailyMail.com: EXCLUSIVE: Royal beekeeper has informed the Queen's bees that the Queen has died and King Charles is their new boss in bizarre tradition dating back centuries
When you’re pissed, validation is a powerful thing. I find this video extremely soothing and have watched it repeatedly. I can’t wait for this topic to be completely irrelevant and laughable, but we’re not there yet.
Dropkick Indeed
Always Feeling Randy
Randy Rainbow is one of my best friends—in my head. Truth is, he gives me life and I especially like his latest little number. I’ll stop preaching to the choir.
We Go High
The song Highwomen by The Highwomen gives me goosebumps every single time I hear it. And quite often it brings me to tears. Watch the video.
Always Trending, Never Popular
Nothing cheers the truly pissed like a McSweeney’s essay. This one is called Thank You for Calling the Perimenopause Hotline, Where Our Hold Times Are Completely Unpredictable, by Kathryn Baecht. By sharing this, maybe I’ll be able to resist killing my husband in his sleep, but maybe not.
Memes That Go Hard
And the Oscar for "Saying What We’re All Thinking” goes to Julia Louis-Dreyfus. God bless Veep and long live the Queen of Comedic Delivery. Watch this with volume on 11.
Soothing Twitter
Heads up: Exposure to fractal patterns in nature can reduce levels of stress up to 60%, so says the Twitter feed @SilverPebble by Emma Mitchell, which is eternally soothing. Her book The Wild Remedy is a compilation of sketches and images from nature that helped her through a period of severe depression.
Nix the Body Shaming
Advertising imagery with which I can identify? Yes, please. For those of us with real bodies, Knix wireless bras are the absolute bomb. I can personally vouch for five different styles, plus their pajamas. Yes, I am addicted. And nobody paid me to say this, but that would be great, too.
Brain Cell Boost
Wired magazine co-founder and all-around interesting human Jane Metcalfe has created Proto.Life, an online publication that fills us in on mind-bending advancements in human health tech, much of it focused on women. Read the Proto.Life newsletter whilst eating Tcho Chocolate; Jane co-founded that, too.